“It is a strange thing, but when you are dreading something, and would give anything to slow down time, it has a disobliging habit of speeding up.”

It’s the other way around with me right now. I just can’t wait for the results to just come out already. Waiting sucks. Big time. I just want to know ny results and then see where it’s all going to take me. But hell, I can’t even plan because my targets are all over the place. This sucks. I’m so bored at home most of the time whenever my sisters are all at school, and even when they’re home they’re always too tired to just chill with me. I could always find a job but Dad is sort of against the idea and I know he meant well but god this sucks.

What sucks even more is knowing that your friends are all out there doing something with their life and you’re just, well, there. I don’t know. I especially hate this because in the end I’m the one who’s going to feel like shit for saying all of this, because I will just feel guilty for not being grateful with what I already have. But really, is wanting the best for yourself a bad thing? Oh god. I just don’t like being idle. Sitting around the house doing nothing just doesn’t sit well with me. I need to always have something to do otherwise I’ll go crazy and right now, I think I’m already halfway there.