Just stuffs.
I’m a bit sad right now, I miss Sarah and Ain so bad and we made plan together this holiday and they were going to come to JB and we can all just hang out but it got cancelled last minute. Bleh. Rindu dah lama tak jumpe. These two are like the only people I genuinely like and can go crazy with without worrying they will judge me or anything. Why lah we have to live scattered over the country.
I’ve got a bad case of the 3:00 am guilts -you know, when you lie in bed awake and replay all those things you didn’t do right? Because, as we all know, nothing solves insomnia like a nice warm glass of regret, depression and self-loathing.
Honestly there’s not a bigger bitch than when you’re doing fine on your own, or at least you managed to somehow convince yourself that you are when all of a sudden this big waves of insecurity and basically all shit feelings run through you. And it makes you feel like crap because you can’t help but think this is all your faults for not trying to be a better version of yourself.
Growing up is realising that the bucket lists you wrote at 17 is filled with superficial things that you actually never want to do, things that once you thought is so important that you have to experience it no matter when it really isn’t that big a deal and is actually blown out of proportion. Things that you have been influenced into thinking you must do.
Screw the Eiffel tower. I would rather walk down Montmartre and have my potraits drawn there and walk some more till my legs ache. Here’s to changing my bucket list and here’s to working hard to make it all happen.
Nurul's log 